I understand that almost everyone has bouts of sleeplessness, from time to time. It's not quite the same for me. My Sleepless and Sleepwell periods last at least a week for the former, and thankfully about three for the latter.
I have a series of - I don't know what to call them - exercises? systems? protocol? processes? a series of somethings that I do to encourage sleep. I get out of my headspace. I stare at various objects or surfaces in the room, wrap my mind's eye around them, make myself be less aware of the various aches and grievances in my body at the moment. I focus on my breathing. I've had so much practice doing full-stomach-breathing or whatever it is (where you expand your stomach, not your chest) that I'm pretty sure I do it regularly now. I try to control my imagination as much as possible, calling up dreamy images, rather than stories or events (real or imagined).
Sometimes these don't work. Or they just take far longer, and I have so much on my mind that it's hard to put myself back in the world of dreams where none of that shit matters. Before I developed these various methods, I had a few that involved getting out of bed, doing some things that would put my mind at ease. Some of these didn't work. Some of these I borrow from today. Writing about what's bothering me, drinking some warm milk, masturbating.
There's one I was particularly fond of, even if it didn't actually help me sleep. I'd get up. Make my way blindly from my room (I hardly need to put my arms in front of me I know it so well). Creep downstairs (floor sounds like a hellcat if you make a wrong step). Turn on first-floor computer. Listen to "I Need Some Sleep", by Eels. Listen to it again. Try (and fail, out of laziness rather than difficulty) to play it on guitar. Listen to it one last time while looking through what few nostalgic photos I have.
There's something therapeutic, familiar, and all at once cathartic about Eels, this song in particular. It may not have really helped me sleep, but it's certainly put me in a better (if more melancholic) place, somewhere where it's easier to keep in mind that I'm not the only one who has this problem; I'm not the only sleepless one.
Sometimes these don't work. Or they just take far longer, and I have so much on my mind that it's hard to put myself back in the world of dreams where none of that shit matters. Before I developed these various methods, I had a few that involved getting out of bed, doing some things that would put my mind at ease. Some of these didn't work. Some of these I borrow from today. Writing about what's bothering me, drinking some warm milk, masturbating.
There's one I was particularly fond of, even if it didn't actually help me sleep. I'd get up. Make my way blindly from my room (I hardly need to put my arms in front of me I know it so well). Creep downstairs (floor sounds like a hellcat if you make a wrong step). Turn on first-floor computer. Listen to "I Need Some Sleep", by Eels. Listen to it again. Try (and fail, out of laziness rather than difficulty) to play it on guitar. Listen to it one last time while looking through what few nostalgic photos I have.
There's something therapeutic, familiar, and all at once cathartic about Eels, this song in particular. It may not have really helped me sleep, but it's certainly put me in a better (if more melancholic) place, somewhere where it's easier to keep in mind that I'm not the only one who has this problem; I'm not the only sleepless one.
God damn you, characters of Shrek 2. This was very nearly a totally serious post.
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