The Shady Lab Dre Mathers Eminem Recovery's Back Back Again LP 15

Yeah, it's another "what to expect" post.  Well, kind of.  I guess it's more of a "this is what I'd not only like to see, but what I think is at least semi-likely considering what's happened since his last album"... post.  About Eminem.

As you may have heard, Eazy's (get it? like Weezy but Eazy cuz his name starts with an E? do you love me yet?) back in the lab, and his latest experiment's called... The Marshall Mathers LP 2.  A sequel to an early album.  Hmm.  Not automatically a bad thing, but imagine for a second, if you will, another artist saying their next album's gonna be a sequel to a hyper-acclaimed first-ish album of theirs.  The Joshua Tree (U)2.  Blood Sugar Sex Magik Returns.  Highway 61 Visited For A Third Time.  Son of the College Dropout (actually...).

First reactions?  None of these would sound like awful ideas, but they're not really necessary and it feels like they're kind of grasping at straws, or at least taking a jump backwards after all these years of growth.  That's how part of me feels about The Marshall Mathers LP 2.  However, the rest of me has very high hopes.  Em's already proved a few times that he's no slouch when it comes to concepts spanning multiple albums, no matter how tight or loose

they may be.  The Eminem Show and Encore.  Relapse and Recovery.  So what if he's a few years late on this one?  I'm sure he'll whip something up that's at least on par with the past few years.

That being said, these are a few hopeful "predictions" or educated guesses as to what we could see on the TMMLP2, based on what Eminem's been trending towards, what it feels like he's trying to recapture, what's happened in the world of popular culture these days.

Collaboration with a younger up-and-comer (and by young I mean like, close-to-my-age young).  My vote goes for Childish Gambino cuz he's a personal favorite, but somehow I don't think that's happening.  I really have no idea what they think of each other.  More likely, I'm leaning towards Hopsin or Danny Brown.

A song rife with Breaking Bad references, or at least with an accompanying video that lampoons it.  I just hope he's playing both parts (meaning Walter and Jesse... maybe Gus too... and Skyler... and Walter Junior... yeah, I think I'd enjoy that).  I don't think it's too far of a stretch.  Em's very up on popular culture (as any artist should be, IMO), and I'd think he's no stranger to as big a phenomenon as Breaking Bad.  Not to say I think he should jump on the bandwagon and start publicly advocating for the show for the hell of it.  Nothing against the show or its fanbase, but I feel like that would come across as kinda weird and forced, and very un-Eminem.  I just think there's a lot of connections to be drawn between his persona/phrases/aesthetic and the show, enough to make a song out of.

A sequel to Stan?  I'm talking more "spiritual sequel" here, like Love The Way You Lie Part 2 - doesn't continue the exact same narrative per se, but it's a further exploration of the pairing of those themes with that aesthetic.  Unless... a song about Stan's little brother having grown up over these past 13 years, fostering a burning hatred for the negligent star that (from his perspective) drove his brother to murder-suicide, now ready to take revenge?  Think about it.

Riffage and grooves worthy of the Mike Elizondo days.  We miss you, Mike (yeah, he was on like 4 tracks from Relapse, but he hasn't exactly been a series regular in years).  Don't get me wrong, I love everything Eminem's ever done (musically).  But his more recent albums seem a bit... I dunno, busy?  On a similar note...

Re-exploration of the pop-rap sensibility we saw on Recovery.  Maybe take a few tricks from that and apply it to the old grit and snarl of first-few-albums Eminem.  I know, pop-rap (a la Kanye, Gambino) and good old Midwestern horrorcore doesn't sound like the most homogeneous of mixtures, but sleek and aggressive go together better than you might think.  Black Skinhead, anyone?

M0ar juicy genre-bending.  Eminem's no stranger to including a variety of sounds in his albums, but he's generally hovered in the realm of popular music these days (hip-hop tropes, some pop here, some hard rock there, sometimes a garage aesthetic like in Won't Back Down or his latest, Berzerk).  Let's go batshit with this one.  He's already going for broke by making a sequel to an album almost 15 years later - why not go ass-crazy with it?  Not to say he should up and make this the bastard child of a David Bowie and Brian Eno record.  But hey, with the right balance of the familiar and the alien, this album could do for modern rap what Sandinista! did for punk, what Nevermind did for alternative.  Sure, rap's had several contenders for an album like that since Y2K - but nothing quite there, I'd argue.  Something minimalist and almost resembling spoken word.  A self-lampooning dance beat.  A collab with a metal guitarist.  Rapping in 6/8 over something Mumfordy.  There's endless possibilities in hip-hop, and I think Eminem's got the dynamite to blow that gold mine wide open.

And lastly...

A collaboration with Marilyn Manson that isn't a remix.  Okay, this isn't actually going to happen.  Ever.  But I said a-god-damn momma, I can dream.

Well, I think six predictions and a fantasy's enough for one day.  'Til next time!

Post About the VMAs (a.k.a. I Have No Pride)

'Bout that time again!  Yes, that time where I chain myself to a keyboard for a couple hours, subject you to a page or so of self-loathing and uninformed observations, all in the name of telling myself I'm a productive person.

...Hm.  Bummer note, eh?  Here's an absurdly happy dog.

I've been hearing a lot about these VMAs.  Like... Vehicle for Mediocre Antics or something, right?

Okay, so "ironic" humor's not my thing.  Yes, I know what the stupid freaking VMAs are.  I don't pay attention to them.  I pay them less attention than I do the Grammys.  That's not because I hate America or Miley Cyrus or "the mainstream" or just watching celebrities for a few hours.  It's fun, entertaining, mostly harmless.  Watching and enjoying shows like these isn't something to be criticized.

I just don't watch them because, well... what's a more intelligent way of saying "I don't wanna"?

There's some entertaining bits between awards.  Some of the winners deserve it, some of them don't.  There's flubs, gaffs, the magical antics of Kanye West, we get the drill.  For a schlub like me, the bulk of the entertainment comes from the ensuing social media outflow.  It's like hitting the drains after one great big honking mother of a storm; all kinds of crap washes out there, and some of it's actually pretty great.

For this week's post (or... one of them; maybe one of these days I'll actually get back to writing more than once a day), I've painstakingly collated data from various public channels into a set of uh...  Oh fer Christ, this is based entirely off my Facebook feed, okay?  It's a damn humor blog, kind of.  If you don't like it, there's the New Yorker.

5 Things To Expect From the Next VMAs

1. Lady Gaga will wear a dress made of live parrots.

I know, overdone.  But I'd really like to see this.  Was there even a thing about Lady Gaga at the Veemas this year?  Or was she out-crazied?

Assuming it still counts as crazy if it's totally pre-planned and inauthentic.

2. Someone else will try to pull an "I'ma let you finish" and promptly get popped in the face.

Then again, I don't think there's a lot of other Kanyes-in-waiting out there with the right balance of ego and batshittery (and a dash of cajones) that would try such a thing.  It would also have to be someone clinging to the final threads of relevancy, someone with so little pride they have to pull a horrible stunt that's somehow even worse for being done before.

Your time to shine, Billie.

3. I'll make another one of these stupid posts.

Cuz I'm really having trouble coming up with five things for this damnable post.

4. A barbershop quartet bit with Chris Brown, Kobe Bryant, Lil' Wayne, and Toby Keith.

Because if there's anything the VMAs love, it's hating women.

5. New category: The Video That Could Be Most Improved By Cameos From The Cast Of Jersey Shore

I don't actually know if the VMAs have categories.  That's how little I know about what I'm writing about.  But god damn it you know this should be a thing.  In the VMAs.  But like only the VMAs.  Please.

...

Well, that's enough phoning it in for one day.  Tune in next time for uh... something that isn't this.

Kick-Ass 2; Not A Review

Like the title says, this post is about Kick-Ass 2 and uh... I'm not actually sure what the thesis of this post is going to be, besides trying to deconstruct what about this movie hit home with me so damn hard.

Before I continue, minor spoiler warning, maybe.  This is more preemptive than anything (I don't go into these posts with any sort of outline and I try to do it all in one sitting), and I'll try to avoid as many as possible.  But if I have a choice between a minor spoiler and speaking in Grey's Anatomy narration,

I was beginning to think the things that are could not be if they said that it couldn't be the way it was.

you're getting the spoiler.  I'll give you a big fat MINOR SPOILER labelly thing if one of them's coming up, so, I don't know, close your eyes 'til it's over or something.

I'll kick this off by saying yes, I admit this movie had its problems.  Some of the writing fell a tiny bit flat, a couple exchanges were a bit out-of-place/unwarranted - Example and Minor, Minor Spoiler cuz I don't really reveal anything: Kick-Ass kind of goes off on someone in the movie, even though as far as I could tell, there was no hint at any sort of prior resentment.  Even given the insane position this high school senior's in, some of the shit he says is unwarranted to the point of being out of character and comes across as a big, floating, elephant-shaped WTF in the room. End kind-of-not-really spoilers.  Of course, some of this I blame on them getting a whole different writer/director.

That was my biggest problem with it.  There were a couple unnecessary plot points - not even points, more just a couple random things they mentioned - but I can't really get into those without spoilers, so meh.  Other criticisms I've been hearing include "bad jokes" (not subjective at all) detracting from the plot, "too many characters"

"Cuz fuck ensemble casts, right?"

"Hear hear."

"Srsly."

and being "uninspired" (or, Critic-ese for "I was high when I watched this movie").

I guess if you believe that the quality of a work of fiction is equivalent to the sum of its parts, then yes, you could argue that it's not that good of a movie because of all the little chinks in the armor.  You'd be a bit of a dolt, but you could argue it.

Take any Oscar Bait movie (no, not every movie that wins an Oscar; come on, you know what I mean).  From a purely technical standpoint, those kinds of movies are truly flawless.  They also tend to only resonate with something of a niche audience.

Niche meaning "snobs".

If you're not in that niche, you walk away from the screen afterward thinking either "Well, that was pleasant enough for the senses" or "Well, I could go my whole life without seeing that again".

But sometimes you see a movie that, despite all your misgivings, no matter how scattered and minor and decentralized, really moves you without knowing exactly why, really takes you for a whirlwind, tugs all the different strings in your body.  For whatever fucking reason, Kick-Ass 2 did that for me more than any movie in quite a long time.

Maybe it's because comic books were my first love.  First thing I ever wanted to do was write and draw comic books, before I ever thought of prose as an option.

Maybe it's because I've always been in love with the idea of superheroes, and fuck that superhero/costumed-vigilante disparity bullshit; powers or not, if you do that, you're a goddamned superhero (if you do it successfully, I mean; fine line between "superhero" and "shithead").  They're not super because they wear costumes; they're "super" because no one does that.  No one takes time out of their everyday life to put their life on the line for strangers a couple nights a week.  Maybe because the consequences of these characters' actions are depicted in the most realistic way we're probably gonna get (while still having a movie).

"Some Jackass In A Green Suit Gets Shot After Ten Minutes" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Maybe because it's a crazy movie about real consequence, the superhuman pressures of life and loss weighing on our very mortal heads, something we can all relate to whether you're an angry kid

a concerned parent

a bored dreamer

a John Q. Public

or a surgeon, if you're like me and prefer to believe Turk just moved to NYC

...or just an Average Joe with a good heart.

Maybe it's because it's what a "comic book movie" should look like, how it should behave: running the thin line of homage, stepping equally on the sides of gritty deconstruction and age-old tropes, without necessitating the age-old/bullshit excuse of "come on bro, it's a comic book movie; cut it some slack" even in its sillier moments.  Perhaps it's not the comic-book homage movie we need right now, but it's the one-

NO.

Geez, okay, I'm sorry.

Here's my point, going back to resonance in fiction and such:

Does the movie make you feel something?  Then that movie and everyone involved has done their job right.  It's a good movie.  Same goes with any story; books, games, television.  I cringe more than a few times when I watch a Judd Apatow thing, even Freaks and Geeks, but I still completely buy it, it still digs down to my roots and nestles there because the storytelling's so damn good and the people on the screen are telling you they're real, a few grating one-liners aside.

I'm not telling you it'll change your life.  I'm not guaranteeing that you'll love it, or even that this movie's for everyone.  I am saying fuck amalgamate critic sites, and to give this movie a chance.  I'm saying I refuse to believe I'm the only guy that can be so deeply and, I'll admit, strangely affected by this movie.

If nothing else, it's made my mission clear:

I have two years to concoct a plan to get crazy famous and woo Chloe Grace Moretz.

...What?  What'd you think I was gonna say?

(Idea: You could totally reblog this with #teamthomas until she sees this.  You know.  If you're a bro.)

"Bro... you remember that thing I said about dogs chasing cars?" "Yeah Joker, why?" "...Never mind."

Okay, I can't end this post on that.  To play me out, here's David Bowie:

Wait...  Why the hell wasn't this song in either movie?

Twofer Tuesday! I Mean Wednesday!

I am absolutely, hauntedly, shockingly, is-this-a-dagger-I-see-before-me-no-it's-a-gat-to-shoot-your-fucking-brains-out bored out of my skull.  Cuz work.  Ergo, might as well be productive in some facet of my life and take my second writing break of my eight-hour day.

Oh, don't look at me like that.  Like you've never slacked off at work.  Actually, this barely counts as slacking off cuz there's like no actual work to be done here anyway.  Ever.

Not that I hate my job!  Oh hells no.  Which is why I present:

5 Reasons Why Being An Intern Is Actually Kinda Decent

...But first, because it's Wednesday, have another

One Hit Wonder Wednesday

You will have it and you will like it.

And today's champion of the one-hitters is...

*Sigh* Just... get it out of your system, okay?  You done?  Okay, good.

Just A Friend, by Biz Markie!

YES, I know this song came out in 1989.  But that's close enough to the 90s to basically be the 90s.  Did you watch the damn thing?  It was only forced to exist in the 80s because if the 90s had seen the advent of Biz Markie's number one hit, the 90s would be so 90s that Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, and MC Hammer would all merge into a giant comedically-rapping powerhouse whose voice sounded like Urkel and whose towering afro shot lightning that turned into Samuel L. Jacksons on impact, thus bringing about the apocalypse.  Which, I'll admit, would be a way more awesome end than anything that John the Revelator hack could pull out of his ass.

Putz.

But enough yammering about 90s music (even though that's what this blog was originally created to do).  I know actually give you:

5 Reasons Why Being An Intern Is Actually Kinda Decent (In My Case)

1. COFFEE (and Some Other Free Shit)

And by "Some Other Free Shit" I mean stuff that's meant to go in coffee.

Funny thing is, I didn't even like coffee for a long time.  Absolutely love the smell, always have, but before, oh, three months ago, I always thought it tasted kind of like toasted feet.

What?  You hated the taste of this strange liquid that's the same color and consistency of your bi-monthly diarrhea and magically wakes you up?  Uncultured swine.

I'm not sure what it was - I'm guessing it was the crazy amount of disconnect between the smell and the taste.  Generally, and I do mean generally, and only when it comes to things considered edible

It ain't Kool-Aid, kids.

things generally taste like they smell, right?  Kinda-sorta?  Well not with coffee.

Anyways, make a guy get up at seven in the morning every day after a whole year of going to bed when the sky fades from black to blue... he and coffee become fast friends.

But if you're like me (read: a wuss), black coffee doesn't cut it.  I've gotta pad my gradual transformation into Dilbert.  Lucky for me, all the cream and sugar I could want (which is a lot) is also there.  One of these days, I think I'm gonna try half-and-half.  ...No, I mean like half cream, half coffee.

2. I Work In the City

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Best sub-benefit of this benefit: on my lunch breaks, I can walk around where there's people and pretend I actually have a life.

3. Holy Shit, It's Actually Paid

I mean... I'm not set to be a sugar-daddy anytime soon, but I can take you to a pretty nice dive bar or something.

Whatevs.

Uhhhhhh two more things, two more things...

4. Office Supplies

You have no idea how much fun those fuckers are when you're so bored that, you know, you want some actual work to do.

And my favorite...

5. No Expectations

Even at jobs that immediately come to mind when you think "entry-level", they're still a step above intern.  Intern is the position you hold when you're trusted with one task at a time.  And the rest of the time they have you play in the corner.  They barely even consider you a part of the company.  When an out-of-stater or some other bigwig comes through, they'll usually pass right by your cubicle.  Other "entry-level" jobs, whether they're minimum wage or no, you're immediately considered part of "the team"... or at least expected to be.  You better perform, or there's no room for you here.  That's why they'll drop you midway through the application/interview process, because if they suspect that you can't get the job done, there's no reason to have you there.  They're not interested in building your resume, and why should they be?  They need people who can do a job and do it right; they have a product to sell, burgers to make, kids to be watched, whatever.

I'm not ribbing on the idea of having an internship or anyone that's in an entry-level and/or minimum-wage job, or even the big corporations that manage them.  What I'm saying is, I would like to one day have a job where my actions actually affect the greater whole and what it produces, no matter how entry-level it may be.  I'd like to make the long and arduous climb to the top instead of chilling at the bottom in a swivel chair, collating a bunch of spreadsheets.

But for now?

Bitch, I'm in college and it's summer.

A Brief Guide to House-Hunting (Written By A Total Novice)

This upcoming school year's the first time in ever that I'm living at a place of my own, like not at my folks' (sup ladies) and not in downtown housing that's owned at least in part by the school.  That being said, we've got a month 'til school and still no place to live.  Yikes.  To better prevent you from being me (only room for one, son), here's a quick little grouping of pointers to

House-Hunting In Chicago And What I've Learned Thus Far

So yeah, some of these will be a little... specific.

Section 1: If You Don't Have "A Guy"

1. Get "A Guy"

Seriously.  I know, some (read: many of) realtors are annoying wannabe sharks with really shady practices (that's why we do research, sweetheart).  A similar rule applies for the relationship between writers and publishers: yes, many of the latter (well... the former too) suck donkey balls, but it's better to have one than to... well... not.  Otherwise, you're pretty much stuck trolling Craigslist, bringing me to my second pointer...

2. Yes, Craigslist Is Still Shady

I've had several realtors

"realtors"

bail on me - sometimes as the same day as the showing's I've set up, some have asked for some really unnecessary information (if anyone asks for your account number, run far and long in the exact opposite direction), others have straight-up lied about some pretty crucial information.

"Well um...  'Cozy' isn't exactly the word I'd use, but..."

Shady it may be, Craigslist also has a lot of great shit and I've known several people who've had success finding houses on there.  Just saying, there's no Scumbag Evaluation Form you have to fill out before throwing shit up there, so:

3. Know How To Spot The Scumbags

I already mentioned that some of these jokers ask for a little too much information.  If you're filling out an application and you feel at all uncomfortable when coming up to a certain field, just leave it blank (if it's not required) or ask why this information is necessary (if they claim it is).  I haven't had to do the latter yet, but it can't hurt.

I honestly thought I had more for this one, but it really just boils down to not throwing your personal information around like a jackass.

4. Look At Everything

It's really easy to write off any given location just by looking at an ad.  "What do these Nazis have against two-hundred-pound Mastiff-Malamutes???@!!"  "How is the gas not included with the water.  What.  Do they even understand my needs."  Just relax and set up a showing, okay?  They don't cost anything.  If you don't like it, if you really find you can't stand the sight of those substrate cabinets, then don't buy the damn thing.  Keep looking.  There's a lot more fish in the sea than you think.

5. Don't trust them new ni-

NO DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM

Section 2: If You Do Have "A Guy"

1. Don't Depend On Them

I know what I said, dammit.  As much as I ribbed on Craigslist up there, there are just as many shadesters that don't use Craigslist as their advertising go-to.  Unless you're obscenely rich (in which case, what are you doing not walking up to a building and buying it on the spot?), you do not have them in your pocket (another way of saying they're wrapped around your finger).  They still have the freedom to try to screw you, they're still trying to make a buck off you.  This isn't me trying to say "don't trust realtors".  Just...  Hell, what am I saying?  I dunno, tread lightly.  And carry a big stick.  Or something.

2. DON'T WAIT

Seriously.  This was my biggest mistake, and it's also one of the biggest tip-offs that your "guy" is as big of or greater a scumbag as/than (what is going on with this sentence's structure?) whoever you find on Craigslist.  In the beginning of my hunt for a place to live, I had a "guy", a family friend.  I'm not going to give out any names, not even of the company or their affiliates, cuz I could get into some serious defamation shit.  And I don't need that.  But right off the bat, my "guy" told me to wait until July 1st to start looking for apartments opening September 1st, cuz they wouldn't know what would be open until... I don't know either.  Now that I'm actually typing this bullshit out, I'm realizing how much of a rube I was for falling for it.

Point is, they're just trying to get you to rely on them to find you apartments.  Soon as you know that you need a place, start looking.

3. If They Ignore Your Specs, Fuck 'Em

And I don't mean fuck your specifications.  You know what kind of place you need to move into.  Don't settle for a two-bedroom if you have three roommates, don't settle for the deep south side when you specifically said "somewhere with nightlife".  If you can't tell that they put conscious effort into meeting your specifications, move on and find a different guy.  They have places to sell, and they're just trying to pawn them off on you.  They'll just keep throwing shit at you until you crack if you don't try a new angle.

An example: When I'd first started house-hunting, I told my guy (the one I'd mentioned before) what I needed: somewhere from 1500 to 2400, close to the train, out of the Loop, three bedrooms for three roommates.  I wait (stupidly), like he tells me.  Calls me back, and with what?  A bunch of two-bedroomers in the Loop (where property's doubly expensive).  I told the guy the most polite version of "go fuck yourself" that I could come up with.

...And then, bafflingly, gave him a second chance, leading me to thus:

4. Make Sure It's Actually In Lakeview

Lakeview's very popular these days, and for good reason.  It's gorgeous, there're El stops everywhere you turn, there's nightlife, and the beach is like, a fifteen-minute walk away at most.  Then there's Lakeview's funny-smelling high-school-dropout cousins.  Brief note: just because it's within a mile of Lakeshore Drive, doesn't make it "Lakeview".  If found this out after my first "guy" showed me a place in "Lakeview".  It was not Lakeview.  It was some weird stretch of sad-looking neighborhood between Lakeview and... I don't know, somewhere else.  I mean, yeah it kind of looks like Lakeview... if the Darkness from Silent Hill got to it.  A third of the buildings were abandoned, and I'm not just talking storefronts - I mean like schools and high-rises and what may have been a prison.  The park's full of shadesters, the local economy's based around liquor stores, there's jack in nightlife unless you count shooting up behind a dumpster with some of the area's more colorful persons, the in-unit laundry in the place looked like it had seen multiple stabbings, it's nearly a mile from any sort of train (somehow)...

But one last, more serious point:

5. Don't Be Afraid To Hound Your Realtor

Realtors aren't fantastic at getting back to you.  And I know, they're finding you a place - what right do you have to get on their case?

Well... every right, really.  Don't let them jerk you around.  I mean... don't call them screaming and threatening to take your business elsewhere either.  Cuz that totally won't land you a place.  And you're being a dick.  But it's their job, so... uh... I had an ending here... well, make 'em do it.

Okay, I've been working on this for like three hours and I feel like doing something else with my life now.  Kthxbye.

Bullshit Analysis: "Fake Geek Girl"

I don't know how long this one's going to be.  I've got a bunch of points I want to get to and they're all just kinda bouncing around in my braincloud, and depending on how this thing flows, I might not get to them all.  Actually, it might turn out that there's less than I thought.  We'll see.

Anyways, let's get started.

Today, I'm gonna pick apart a particularly icky term in the world of nerd - icky in terms of connotations and the controversy it's stirred from time to time:
Fake Geek (or Gamer) Girl
Let me preface this by saying I really, really hope I've never used this term in real life except to talk about the term itself.  Forreals, just typing it leaves a bad taste in my... uh... fingers.  I guess.

Not my most flattering yearbook picture.

Let's break this down.  Mostly because I have no idea where else to start.

Fake: Implying that the noun in question is a counterfeit, a sham, somehow not real, a knockoff - thus discrediting any of its worth.  When you really get down and analyze it, "fake" by itself is one hell of an insult, and one that shouldn't be thrown around as much as it is, in or out of the context of gaming/geekdom.
Geek: A circus freak that bites the heads off chickens.  Or, in more recent years, someone who places more time and value in their interests than the average Joe/Jane, usually involving something that has to do with some variant of media (TV, games, literature, movies, comics (which I'd include under literature or as a cousin of such, but for the sake of something I'm too lazy to think of a word for, I'm putting it separately), music, so forth).  There are many different types of "geek" or "nerd".
Girl: One of the female species.

Hmm...  Okay, that helps me a little.  Emphasis on "little".
All right, further breakdownage:

No.

This term implies 1) that there's something "fake" about these girls that... that what, "claim to" love games or other things about nerd culture?  It implies they are, in some way, a bastardization of what male nerds love.  I'm guessing it's because the offended, these angry "true nerds", naturally lash out against any females that step on their hallowed common ground since they'd been, in their words, "friendzoned" by girls "their entire lives".  I smell another Bullshit Analysis in the coming weeks.  Feature, perhaps?

2) Implies that the Fake Geek Girl isn't really interested in her interests (just typing that sentence is a wtf).  So apparently these ladies are fake-liking something just so they can get "in" with us greasy-backed, eczemic hunks.

Get it while it lasts, ladies.

3) Implies that this only applies to females.  No no no, save your flames, just for a moment.  Have you EVER heard someone use the term "fake geek guy"?  If the term "fake geek whatever" applies to whoever takes selective interest in certain aspects of nerd culture without living/breathing it, couldn't that easily apply to a shitton of men that share those qualities?  Answer: yes, but we don't.  The most flak I see the male spectrum getting are dudes who play mostly play CoD or Madden, and even then, it's a few snide comments/snivels.  They don't incense the nerd nationalists nearly as much as "fake gamer girls".

I think I've covered quite a bit in the various sarcastic jabs I've thrown in my text up there, but allow me to dig just a few layers deeper.

Know what it meant to be a "nerd" or a "geek" not even twenty years ago?  Let's say, before 2000?  It meant no girls fucking touched you.  As a geek of yesteryear, you'd be blessed, stunned silent, if a girl not only talked to you but shared your fucking interests, even one of them.  So fellas, when the hell did y'all get so entitled?

Quick point:
Now, I fucking hate The Big Bang Theory, don't get me wrong.  I once heard it called "blackface for nerds"

One of these days, I will learn self-control.

and I couldn't agree more.  However, to illustrate a point about the second Implication (that these girls are "faking an interest"), let me bring up the chick for a second (no I don't care to know her character's name because again, fie on Big Bang Theory).

Would you call her a "fake geek girl"?  I mean, she's on the fringe of "nerd culture", right?  Doesn't look or talk the part?  Well the answer is no, no you wouldn't.  In fact, I'd say she's as much a geek as the rest of the horrible stereotypes on that show, as much as the show tries to beat the dead horse of "Hey, look how FUCKING DIFFERENT she is!"  Why?  Because why the fuck would she hang out with them if she didn't give actually give a shit about their interests?  What could she possibly have to gain?  What's the point of "faking it"?  Why would she ask them about this kind of stuff in every single episode?
(Apparently it started with some bullshit like she tried to get them to do her homework or something - I don't know, I might be completely mistaken, but I really don't care.  After several seasons of this crap, she has to have taken a genuine interest in these guys.)

Something particularly baffling: hearing this term applied to girls that go to conventions.
To purveyors of this term: Do you have any idea how fucking expensive conventions are?  Oh, you do, because you fucking paid for it too?  Then shut your damn mouth.
I repeat: one more colon for good measure: WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PAY OUT THE ASS TO GO TO CONVENTIONS IF THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY LIKE THIS STUFF.  Why??  Why would they do it??  Between ticket prices, merch, costumes (and just about every one of these girls you're calling a "fake" is in costume, one that took some serious work putting together), food, so on, you're easily going to spend twice what you intended at any given con.  So, yet again, what in God's name would be the point of "faking" such interests?

Hmm.  Wish I'd thought of a better ending to this.

Here's the point.  Malefolk of the nerd world: unclench thy collective anus, and count your blessings.  You have NO idea how good we have it.  The world is slowly but surely becoming a nerd paradise, where games like The Last of Us exist, another axe-blow in the fight to have games recognized as art; where the Dark Knight Trilogy and The Avengers can storm the box office and take a giant dump on it; where Watchmen's considered a literary achievement.  A world where fiction of any form is, more than ever, fucking cool.  Why wouldn't you want in on this?  After so many years of abuse, abuse our nerd forefathers had to deal with WAY-the-fuck more than us, are we really going to be so stubborn and selfish as to not turn the other cheek, not let the enlightened into the kingdom of nerd?  Are we really so butthurt that we'll mark as pariah people we'd never know personally if not for their interests?

For the sake of the betterment of a culture I owe so much to, for something in which I have so much stake: I certainly hope not.