Juggalos are like happy marriages, celebrities, and rainbows (and I don't mean sissy rainbows like you can get if you like, use your watch or something; I mean like a full-blown, arch over the world, there's-a-pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-that-shit rainbow). Everyone knows they exist and everyone loves to talk about them (or in this case make fun of them), but how many do you really see in a lifetime? I asked myself this the other day, and I realized that number is far lower than I expected.
We talk about Juggalos and their weird, ridiculous, generally-unacceptable behavior (and the fact that they like ICP) and relentlessly make fun of them and demonize them as if they're a threat. That's weird to me. Why? If something's a threat, that usually has to mean that there's a kind of lot of them, or it, whatever we're talking about. I've met... I think it's less than 10? That's just assuming every person I've met who likes ICP warrants being called a "Juggalo", even if they don't identify as such (don't go 'WOOP WOOP', don't wear the warpaint, don't have anything with that little hatchet dude on them, etc.).
1) A friend of mine from high school (yes, I was very close friends with a maybe-Juggalo; no, our friendship didn't end when I found out about it)
2 & 3) These two weird chicks from high school that are like 2-3 years younger than me, knew them through a couple mutual friends
4) Some guy I met while I was stuck in Milwaukee after a night at SummerFest (and he was quite a nice dude, might I add), a story which will probably wind up being an entry somewhere down the line
5) A high-school age friend of mine whom I met last year in college, who has otherwise phenomenal musical taste and skill
6 & 7) Two chicks I met on OKCupid
There you go, seven. Seven Juggalos. Ah-ah-ah.
So maybe I just haven't met the Juggalos that everyone loves to hate, the crazy Detroit natives who run around doing all the meth in sight and, I don't know, being naughty, whatever it is. And before I continue, let me just say I am in no way defending the music these people listen to. Cuz Jesus H. Jiminy do I fucking hate it. But who the hell am I to hate the fans? I absolutely hate Attack Attack, but some of my very closest friends listen to them, and before you say "Yeah well they don't have that kind of fucked-up subculture backing them", go type "scene kid" into Google Image right now.
Okay, getting off track. Point being, chillax; hate the music all you want, but before you go posting a "meme" like this (don't worry, it doesn't actually show a baby's corpse):
http://motivateurself.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/dead-juggalo-baby.jpg
(and by the way, that wasn't from the backwater of the internet from the same dark corner as snuff films and furries; that was openly circulating on Facebook just a few months back) please remember, these are people. Hilarious, probably-smelly, usually-delinquent people with iffy tastes, but people nonetheless. See? I like making fun of them too! But the hate's getting a little scary.
Uh... that's it. Wow, I need to work on ending these.
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