Kick-Ass 2; Not A Review

Like the title says, this post is about Kick-Ass 2 and uh... I'm not actually sure what the thesis of this post is going to be, besides trying to deconstruct what about this movie hit home with me so damn hard.

Before I continue, minor spoiler warning, maybe.  This is more preemptive than anything (I don't go into these posts with any sort of outline and I try to do it all in one sitting), and I'll try to avoid as many as possible.  But if I have a choice between a minor spoiler and speaking in Grey's Anatomy narration,

I was beginning to think the things that are could not be if they said that it couldn't be the way it was.

you're getting the spoiler.  I'll give you a big fat MINOR SPOILER labelly thing if one of them's coming up, so, I don't know, close your eyes 'til it's over or something.

I'll kick this off by saying yes, I admit this movie had its problems.  Some of the writing fell a tiny bit flat, a couple exchanges were a bit out-of-place/unwarranted - Example and Minor, Minor Spoiler cuz I don't really reveal anything: Kick-Ass kind of goes off on someone in the movie, even though as far as I could tell, there was no hint at any sort of prior resentment.  Even given the insane position this high school senior's in, some of the shit he says is unwarranted to the point of being out of character and comes across as a big, floating, elephant-shaped WTF in the room. End kind-of-not-really spoilers.  Of course, some of this I blame on them getting a whole different writer/director.

That was my biggest problem with it.  There were a couple unnecessary plot points - not even points, more just a couple random things they mentioned - but I can't really get into those without spoilers, so meh.  Other criticisms I've been hearing include "bad jokes" (not subjective at all) detracting from the plot, "too many characters"

"Cuz fuck ensemble casts, right?"

"Hear hear."

"Srsly."

and being "uninspired" (or, Critic-ese for "I was high when I watched this movie").

I guess if you believe that the quality of a work of fiction is equivalent to the sum of its parts, then yes, you could argue that it's not that good of a movie because of all the little chinks in the armor.  You'd be a bit of a dolt, but you could argue it.

Take any Oscar Bait movie (no, not every movie that wins an Oscar; come on, you know what I mean).  From a purely technical standpoint, those kinds of movies are truly flawless.  They also tend to only resonate with something of a niche audience.

Niche meaning "snobs".

If you're not in that niche, you walk away from the screen afterward thinking either "Well, that was pleasant enough for the senses" or "Well, I could go my whole life without seeing that again".

But sometimes you see a movie that, despite all your misgivings, no matter how scattered and minor and decentralized, really moves you without knowing exactly why, really takes you for a whirlwind, tugs all the different strings in your body.  For whatever fucking reason, Kick-Ass 2 did that for me more than any movie in quite a long time.

Maybe it's because comic books were my first love.  First thing I ever wanted to do was write and draw comic books, before I ever thought of prose as an option.

Maybe it's because I've always been in love with the idea of superheroes, and fuck that superhero/costumed-vigilante disparity bullshit; powers or not, if you do that, you're a goddamned superhero (if you do it successfully, I mean; fine line between "superhero" and "shithead").  They're not super because they wear costumes; they're "super" because no one does that.  No one takes time out of their everyday life to put their life on the line for strangers a couple nights a week.  Maybe because the consequences of these characters' actions are depicted in the most realistic way we're probably gonna get (while still having a movie).

"Some Jackass In A Green Suit Gets Shot After Ten Minutes" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Maybe because it's a crazy movie about real consequence, the superhuman pressures of life and loss weighing on our very mortal heads, something we can all relate to whether you're an angry kid

a concerned parent

a bored dreamer

a John Q. Public

or a surgeon, if you're like me and prefer to believe Turk just moved to NYC

...or just an Average Joe with a good heart.

Maybe it's because it's what a "comic book movie" should look like, how it should behave: running the thin line of homage, stepping equally on the sides of gritty deconstruction and age-old tropes, without necessitating the age-old/bullshit excuse of "come on bro, it's a comic book movie; cut it some slack" even in its sillier moments.  Perhaps it's not the comic-book homage movie we need right now, but it's the one-

NO.

Geez, okay, I'm sorry.

Here's my point, going back to resonance in fiction and such:

Does the movie make you feel something?  Then that movie and everyone involved has done their job right.  It's a good movie.  Same goes with any story; books, games, television.  I cringe more than a few times when I watch a Judd Apatow thing, even Freaks and Geeks, but I still completely buy it, it still digs down to my roots and nestles there because the storytelling's so damn good and the people on the screen are telling you they're real, a few grating one-liners aside.

I'm not telling you it'll change your life.  I'm not guaranteeing that you'll love it, or even that this movie's for everyone.  I am saying fuck amalgamate critic sites, and to give this movie a chance.  I'm saying I refuse to believe I'm the only guy that can be so deeply and, I'll admit, strangely affected by this movie.

If nothing else, it's made my mission clear:

I have two years to concoct a plan to get crazy famous and woo Chloe Grace Moretz.

...What?  What'd you think I was gonna say?

(Idea: You could totally reblog this with #teamthomas until she sees this.  You know.  If you're a bro.)

"Bro... you remember that thing I said about dogs chasing cars?" "Yeah Joker, why?" "...Never mind."

Okay, I can't end this post on that.  To play me out, here's David Bowie:

Wait...  Why the hell wasn't this song in either movie?