Oh, don't look at me like that. Like you've never slacked off at work. Actually, this barely counts as slacking off cuz there's like no actual work to be done here anyway. Ever.
Not that I hate my job! Oh hells no. Which is why I present:
5 Reasons Why Being An Intern Is Actually Kinda Decent
...But first, because it's Wednesday, have another
One Hit Wonder Wednesday
You will have it and you will like it.
And today's champion of the one-hitters is...
*Sigh* Just... get it out of your system, okay? You done? Okay, good.
Just A Friend, by Biz Markie!
YES, I know this song came out in 1989. But that's close enough to the 90s to basically be the 90s. Did you watch the damn thing? It was only forced to exist in the 80s because if the 90s had seen the advent of Biz Markie's number one hit, the 90s would be so 90s that Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, and MC Hammer would all merge into a giant comedically-rapping powerhouse whose voice sounded like Urkel and whose towering afro shot lightning that turned into Samuel L. Jacksons on impact, thus bringing about the apocalypse. Which, I'll admit, would be a way more awesome end than anything that John the Revelator hack could pull out of his ass.
Putz.
But enough yammering about 90s music (even though that's what this blog was originally created to do). I know actually give you:
5 Reasons Why Being An Intern Is Actually Kinda Decent (In My Case)
1. COFFEE (and Some Other Free Shit)
And by "Some Other Free Shit" I mean stuff that's meant to go in coffee.
Funny thing is, I didn't even like coffee for a long time. Absolutely love the smell, always have, but before, oh, three months ago, I always thought it tasted kind of like toasted feet.
What? You hated the taste of this strange liquid that's the same color and consistency of your bi-monthly diarrhea and magically wakes you up? Uncultured swine.
I'm not sure what it was - I'm guessing it was the crazy amount of disconnect between the smell and the taste. Generally, and I do mean generally, and only when it comes to things considered edible
It ain't Kool-Aid, kids.
things generally taste like they smell, right? Kinda-sorta? Well not with coffee.
Anyways, make a guy get up at seven in the morning every day after a whole year of going to bed when the sky fades from black to blue... he and coffee become fast friends.
But if you're like me (read: a wuss), black coffee doesn't cut it. I've gotta pad my gradual transformation into Dilbert. Lucky for me, all the cream and sugar I could want (which is a lot) is also there. One of these days, I think I'm gonna try half-and-half. ...No, I mean like half cream, half coffee.
2. I Work In the City
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Best sub-benefit of this benefit: on my lunch breaks, I can walk around where there's people and pretend I actually have a life.
3. Holy Shit, It's Actually Paid
I mean... I'm not set to be a sugar-daddy anytime soon, but I can take you to a pretty nice dive bar or something.
Whatevs.
Uhhhhhh two more things, two more things...
4. Office Supplies
You have no idea how much fun those fuckers are when you're so bored that, you know, you want some actual work to do.
And my favorite...
5. No Expectations
Even at jobs that immediately come to mind when you think "entry-level", they're still a step above intern. Intern is the position you hold when you're trusted with one task at a time. And the rest of the time they have you play in the corner. They barely even consider you a part of the company. When an out-of-stater or some other bigwig comes through, they'll usually pass right by your cubicle. Other "entry-level" jobs, whether they're minimum wage or no, you're immediately considered part of "the team"... or at least expected to be. You better perform, or there's no room for you here. That's why they'll drop you midway through the application/interview process, because if they suspect that you can't get the job done, there's no reason to have you there. They're not interested in building your resume, and why should they be? They need people who can do a job and do it right; they have a product to sell, burgers to make, kids to be watched, whatever.
I'm not ribbing on the idea of having an internship or anyone that's in an entry-level and/or minimum-wage job, or even the big corporations that manage them. What I'm saying is, I would like to one day have a job where my actions actually affect the greater whole and what it produces, no matter how entry-level it may be. I'd like to make the long and arduous climb to the top instead of chilling at the bottom in a swivel chair, collating a bunch of spreadsheets.
But for now?
Bitch, I'm in college and it's summer.
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