How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Korn

Tabs currently open: a random King Diamond-related Wikipedia article, Grooveshark, petition for a third Alice game (SIGN IT BITCHES: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/372/809/248/make-american-mcgees-alice-in-otherland-a-reality/?cid=FB_TAF_CIT), OKCupid, this, porn, and a writing blog that isn't mine.  I've been alternately checking the slowly-increasing amount of signatures, pecking away at a reply message to a sweet young lady from my dad's hometown, trying to figure out what the FUCK this post is gonna be about, yearning for my pre-bed fap, and reading that other thing.

For you prudes weirded out by the fact that I've touched my wiener a couple times during the writing of this post, I posit to ye: calm thy tits, it's the 21st century.

KIDDING.  No sperms were harmed during the making of this post.

But at last I decided to stop being a bum and pull up my list o' ideas.  Lo, at the top of the list, was the title above.  Simply cuz I'm proud of that title, even if I may not be able to provide a real ending (again), I feel I owe it to myself to turn it into a real thing.

Suggested by the above title, I used to freaking hate Korn.

I can't imagine why.

A lot of it I'm guessing had to do with Jonathan Davis' voice.  I realized a few years ago, some years after first being exposed to them, that I liked everything else besides the general tones of his caterwauling.  The rhythm section, the riffing, the imagery, their use of electronics and studio tricks, how unique their sound was/is/whatever, the fact that Todd McFarlane animated multiple music videos for them, even most of their lyrics.  You know, when they weren't cobbling together various nursery rhymes and calling them songs.  Seriously Jonathan, what the fuck?

It was just the dude's voice that sometimes ground my gears.  To me, it sounded like someone doing a bad Marilyn Manson impression.  Over the years, I've come to terms with this, realizing I've gotten over even less accessible vocal stylings in the past, so why should I let something like that hamper me from listening to something I otherwise truly enjoy?  Sorry, what's that?  Because music typically has lots of vocals and they can make or break a band?

Hm.  Point taken.

In any case, I eventually came to "get" Davis' unorthodox take on the human voice.  It just wouldn't be Korn without the closet monster trying his absolute hardest to sing your angsty self to sleep.

More dreads, less adorable.

All the bonus points in the world if you know what this is from.

What's that?  Time for another Self-Deprecating Disclaimer?!!?!  Yeah, yeah it is.  *Sigh*

So I realized, coming to the "end" of this thang, that there's no real story here.  No one thing that Kornlightened me, no epiphakorn...  Oh dear god, I should've just stopped at "Kornlightened".  Point being, the entire "arc" was this:

1) Disliked Korn.

2) Got over myself.

3) Liked Korn.

Holy rig-ma-roley, there's not even a point to this.  Have a creepy drawing.

Weird that I think this is awesome?

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